一天， 白羊和一只狮子走进餐厅。
老板说您要啥？羊说：‘一份套餐。谢谢。’
老板又问：‘你的狮子不饿吗？’
羊说：‘ 不。THANKS’
老板不死心又问： 真的不要吗？’
羊说是的。
老板有些不甘心问：‘ 你再考虑一下, 它真的不要吗.'
羊不耐烦的吼道：'你认为它饿了我还能在这儿吗?'
问:
1。羊是不是在玩火?
2。在魔鬼及深海之中, 你选择那一个?
3。在现实中, 是不是有一些政党在玩火?
自定义搜索
Saturday, February 28, 2015
A Reunion Invitation
Nobel invited many Scientists and Mathematicians to attend the reunion
*Ampere requested to have current for his electric path
* Archimedes was buoyant at the thought
* Boyle said he was under too much pressure
* Charles would be in presence with Boyle and Renault to showcase the best trios
* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved
* Edison thought the idea was illuminating
* Einstein said it would be relatively easy to turn up than not
* Faraday promised to electromagnetise if there was a power failure
* Gauss suggested to use a heliotrope to reflect light if there was a power failure
* Hertz assured to attend with greater frequency in future
* Hunter asserted the inexistence of small pox
* Ivan Pavlov said classical conditioning can estimate the number of attendees
* Jenson confirmed that he would not bring along the nuclear shell
* Kirchhoff offered to circuit the connection of this reunion
* Leibniz said he would differentiate the variables to help to finalise the attendees
* Morse iterated, "Would be there on the dot, must dash, need space."
* Newton said he'd drop in with an apple for the host
* Ohm resisted the idea
* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated their enthusiasm
* Quinn felt that reunion can strengthen the strong interactions
* Robert Ross promised he could protect all the guests from malaria
* Schrodinger had quantized his presence overcoming various barriers
* Thompson said he can construct a Rumford Furnace if reunion is outdoor
* Urry in assuring his presence said he would provide free lithium battery
* Volta was electrified in receiving the invitation
* Watt thought it would be a good way to let off steam
* Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
* Xavier Bichat who resisted death counter proposed immortal reunion
* Young guaranteed his presence in spite of suffering from astigmatism
* Zanetti agreed to bring the EGG to diagnose dementia of the attendees
*Ampere requested to have current for his electric path
* Archimedes was buoyant at the thought
* Boyle said he was under too much pressure
* Charles would be in presence with Boyle and Renault to showcase the best trios
* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved
* Edison thought the idea was illuminating
* Einstein said it would be relatively easy to turn up than not
* Faraday promised to electromagnetise if there was a power failure
* Gauss suggested to use a heliotrope to reflect light if there was a power failure
* Hertz assured to attend with greater frequency in future
* Hunter asserted the inexistence of small pox
* Ivan Pavlov said classical conditioning can estimate the number of attendees
* Jenson confirmed that he would not bring along the nuclear shell
* Kirchhoff offered to circuit the connection of this reunion
* Leibniz said he would differentiate the variables to help to finalise the attendees
* Morse iterated, "Would be there on the dot, must dash, need space."
* Newton said he'd drop in with an apple for the host
* Ohm resisted the idea
* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated their enthusiasm
* Quinn felt that reunion can strengthen the strong interactions
* Robert Ross promised he could protect all the guests from malaria
* Schrodinger had quantized his presence overcoming various barriers
* Thompson said he can construct a Rumford Furnace if reunion is outdoor
* Urry in assuring his presence said he would provide free lithium battery
* Volta was electrified in receiving the invitation
* Watt thought it would be a good way to let off steam
* Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
* Xavier Bichat who resisted death counter proposed immortal reunion
* Young guaranteed his presence in spite of suffering from astigmatism
* Zanetti agreed to bring the EGG to diagnose dementia of the attendees
Saturday, February 14, 2015
A Touching Story To Be Shared
A touching story you may have heard of . . .
Once upon a time, an old rich but thrifty woman moved into a new house. She was very upset to see that there was a hut not far from her bungalow. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, living with extravagant life style, received high education and married to a handsome well educated gentleman. The only shortcoming in her life was that she was not bestowed any child. Nonethelsee, she and her husband lived happily together.
However, good things did not last long, and bad luck stroke her. Her husband died in an accident. She was very sad and decided to move to a new place. This chose this small peaceful serene town. She did not realise that she was partially surrounded by people living from hands to mouths.
Later she found out that the dwellers of the hut comprising an incomplete family: a widow with her two little children. She was certain that the family must be very poor.
One night, there was a sudden power failure. The night was very cold, she felt more lonely and colder than usual. The old lady decided to light up her house with some candles to look bright and provide her warmth. Neverthess, she still felt cold. Suddenly she heard someone knocking her door . . .
She was wondering who could be the one knocking her door. She blew off all the candles but one which was very dim at a corner. She opened the door and saw two little children standing outside the bungalow when she opened the door.
The two children, wearing old thin clothes, shivered in the cold dark night. She recognized that these two children were from the poor family not far away.
One of the children asked: “Hi auntie, we are from the near by house. Do you have any candle?”
"Oh, they were so poor that they could not afford to buy candles . . . I would better not give them, otherwise they will always relay on me next time," thought the thrifty lady.
"Oh, no, I don’t have,’ she lied to the two children.
As the thrifty lady was about to close the door, one of the children stopped her.
Sweet smiles spread out from the two little children's faces, the elder one said: "We know that you may not have candles since you have just moved in here. So my mother asked us to send you one because we have two."
The thrifty lady was astonished by the warm gesture of the children. She hugged them tightly and she had no power to control her tears from flowing down her cheeks. It was the warmest night in her life thus far . . .
Once upon a time, an old rich but thrifty woman moved into a new house. She was very upset to see that there was a hut not far from her bungalow. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, living with extravagant life style, received high education and married to a handsome well educated gentleman. The only shortcoming in her life was that she was not bestowed any child. Nonethelsee, she and her husband lived happily together.
However, good things did not last long, and bad luck stroke her. Her husband died in an accident. She was very sad and decided to move to a new place. This chose this small peaceful serene town. She did not realise that she was partially surrounded by people living from hands to mouths.
Later she found out that the dwellers of the hut comprising an incomplete family: a widow with her two little children. She was certain that the family must be very poor.
One night, there was a sudden power failure. The night was very cold, she felt more lonely and colder than usual. The old lady decided to light up her house with some candles to look bright and provide her warmth. Neverthess, she still felt cold. Suddenly she heard someone knocking her door . . .
She was wondering who could be the one knocking her door. She blew off all the candles but one which was very dim at a corner. She opened the door and saw two little children standing outside the bungalow when she opened the door.
The two children, wearing old thin clothes, shivered in the cold dark night. She recognized that these two children were from the poor family not far away.
One of the children asked: “Hi auntie, we are from the near by house. Do you have any candle?”
"Oh, they were so poor that they could not afford to buy candles . . . I would better not give them, otherwise they will always relay on me next time," thought the thrifty lady.
"Oh, no, I don’t have,’ she lied to the two children.
As the thrifty lady was about to close the door, one of the children stopped her.
Sweet smiles spread out from the two little children's faces, the elder one said: "We know that you may not have candles since you have just moved in here. So my mother asked us to send you one because we have two."
The thrifty lady was astonished by the warm gesture of the children. She hugged them tightly and she had no power to control her tears from flowing down her cheeks. It was the warmest night in her life thus far . . .
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Kidss are Smart and Imaginative!!!
Don't underestimate kids, they are very creative and imaginative.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, go to the map and find North America .
Bunyau: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Bunyau.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Mujab, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
MUJAB: You told me to do it without using the tables.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jedun,, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Jedun : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
Jedun : Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, what is the chemical formula for water?
Bunyau : H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Bunyau : Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jegit , name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Jegit : Me !
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jugau , why do you always get so dirty?
Jugau : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
BUNYAU: I is...
TEACHER: No, Bunyau...... always say, 'I am.'
BUNYAU: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
_______________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Sundun, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
SUNDUN: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
_______________________________
TEACHER: Now, Jegit , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
JEGIT: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Mujab, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
MUJAB : No sir, It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
____________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Bunyau : A teacher
_______________________________
The teacher fainted.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nurture kids with patience, passion and heart.
Remember, the heart of education is educating the hearts! !!!
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, go to the map and find North America .
Bunyau: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Bunyau.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Mujab, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
MUJAB: You told me to do it without using the tables.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jedun,, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Jedun : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
Jedun : Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, what is the chemical formula for water?
Bunyau : H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Bunyau : Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jegit , name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Jegit : Me !
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jugau , why do you always get so dirty?
Jugau : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
BUNYAU: I is...
TEACHER: No, Bunyau...... always say, 'I am.'
BUNYAU: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
_______________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Sundun, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
SUNDUN: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
_______________________________
TEACHER: Now, Jegit , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
JEGIT: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Mujab, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
MUJAB : No sir, It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
____________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Bunyau : A teacher
_______________________________
The teacher fainted.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nurture kids with patience, passion and heart.
Remember, the heart of education is educating the hearts! !!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Who is smarter?
An American & an Indian entered a chocolate store.
As they were busy looking, the American man stole 3 chocolate bars.
After they left the store, the American said to the Indian: " Yo! Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, I bet you can beat that"
The Indian replied: "You wanna see something better, let's go back to the shop. I'll show you what real stealing is!"
They went to the store. The Indian said to the shopkeeper: "Do you wanna see magic?"
Shopkeeper replied: "Yes."
"Give me a chocolate bar," said the Indian.
The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.
He asked for the second, and he ate that as well.
He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic?"
"Check in my American friend's pockets, and you'll find them," replied the Indian.
How can a straight forward man beat a 'wise' man?
Take The Challenge ! ! !
Let's Take The Challenge - Construct Sentences Using Numerics
Ah Long and an Englishman were asked to construct a few sentences using the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11.
The Englishman tried very hard but could not make it. Finally the Englishman gave up and then turned to Ah Long and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am pretty sure that this would be way far beyond your ability."
Ah Long thought for a while and this was what he came up with finally . . .
1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep a couple, but the couple saw me, so I got panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. I got into a 7-11 and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. I also took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.
10 I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-11. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
The Englishman fainted!
( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )
Ah Long and an Englishman were asked to construct a few sentences using the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11.
The Englishman tried very hard but could not make it. Finally the Englishman gave up and then turned to Ah Long and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am pretty sure that this would be way far beyond your ability."
Ah Long thought for a while and this was what he came up with finally . . .
1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep a couple, but the couple saw me, so I got panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. I got into a 7-11 and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. I also took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.
10 I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-11. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
The Englishman fainted!
( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Some MPS are having MPs
The Current Scenario: Some MPs are having MPs
Interview Starts...
>> Mike & HR Officer <<
........................................
HR : What is your name?
Mike : MP sir
HR : In full please...
Mike : Michael Phang
HR : Your father's name?
Mike : MP sir
HR : What does that mean?
Mike : Melvin Phang
HR : Your native place?
Mike : MP sir
HR : What's that?
Mike : Malacca Province
HR : What is your qualification?
Mike : MP
HR : (angry) What is thaat?!!!
Mike : Mathematics Professor
HR : So why do you need a job?
Mike : It is because of MP sir
HR : Meaning?
Mike : Money Problems
HR : Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
Mike : MP sir..
HR : And what is that??
Mike : Marvelous Personality
HR : I see... I will get back to you..
Mike : Sir, how was my MP sir?
HR : And what's that again?
Mike : My Performance..
HR : I think u have an MP..
Mike : Meaning??
HR : Mental Problem!!!
This is the scenario now, some of the MPs are having MPs.
Interview Starts...
>> Mike & HR Officer <<
........................................
HR : What is your name?
Mike : MP sir
HR : In full please...
Mike : Michael Phang
HR : Your father's name?
Mike : MP sir
HR : What does that mean?
Mike : Melvin Phang
HR : Your native place?
Mike : MP sir
HR : What's that?
Mike : Malacca Province
HR : What is your qualification?
Mike : MP
HR : (angry) What is thaat?!!!
Mike : Mathematics Professor
HR : So why do you need a job?
Mike : It is because of MP sir
HR : Meaning?
Mike : Money Problems
HR : Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
Mike : MP sir..
HR : And what is that??
Mike : Marvelous Personality
HR : I see... I will get back to you..
Mike : Sir, how was my MP sir?
HR : And what's that again?
Mike : My Performance..
HR : I think u have an MP..
Mike : Meaning??
HR : Mental Problem!!!
This is the scenario now, some of the MPs are having MPs.
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