进步, 繁荣的代价

国家进步, 社会繁荣, 生活水平怎样下降了?

国家进步, 社会繁荣, 屋子越建越多, 但是越来越贵。有人一间都买不起, 有人可买了几间。

话说A有4间屋子及两块地, 不工作, 出租3间屋子及两块地, 靠收屋租, 房租和地租生活; B有1间屋子, 工作赚钱过活; C没有屋子, 租屋子住, 租地种菜卖菜。

忽然有天国王心血来潮说: 我国的国库快被我和皇后花光了。 不加税不行了, 可是我国人民好像不是很富有, 加税引起民反, 怎么辦呢?

国库大臣说: 增加房地产税好了, 穷人家没有屋子, 没有田地, 增加房地产税对他们没有影响。
国王说: 好好, 就这么办好了。

布告在全国贴出後, 引起了各种异论。

C说: 太好了, 我没有屋子, 没有田地, 收那帮炒屋子的人的税, 我全力支持! 房价大跌了, 我就可以买房了。

B说: 没关系, 我只有一间屋子, 收那帮炒屋子的人的税, 我支持! 屋价大跌了, 我可以再买一间 来出租。

A偷笑: 哦, 房产税增加多少? 6%对吧? 下个月屋租涨10% , 地租漲7% 好了。

屋租, 地租上涨了, B很烦恼, 想换间屋子, 发现屋租, 地租都涨了, 只好忍。 不过生活再苦也要过。

C心想: 屋租地租都涨了, 赶明儿菜价也涨好了, 30%? 不够开销也没办法; 恩, 就这么办!

A和B去买菜, 发现菜价涨了, 很生气, 想换个菜场, 发现菜价都涨了, 只好少吃点了。

卖食小贩及餐厅老板发现菜价都涨30%, 只好向顾客下手。

租金上涨, 屋价也上涨。屋价上涨, 更多人买不起屋子, 只能咬紧牙根租屋子。屋租再涨, 屋价更涨的厉害。于是乎, 百物上涨的不亦乐乎。

国家进步了, 社会繁荣了, 什么都上升了, 可是生活水平呢? 下降了。

备注: 本故事纯属虚构, 如果有任何相似处, 這是偶然的巧合。

World Women's Day

WOMAN

● changes her surname

● changes her home

● leaves her family

● moves in with you

● builds a home with you

● gets pregnant for you

● pregnancy changes her body

● she gets fat

● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth

● even the kids she delivers bear your surname

Till the day she dies... everything she does... cooking for you and your children and maybe even your parents and grandparents, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, nuryuring your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefits you..... sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.

So who is really doing whom a favour?

Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman.

*Being a woman is priceless*

Happy World Women's Day!

Rock the world ladies!

A salute to ladies!

WOMAN MEANS :-

W ➖ WONDERFUL MOTHER
O ➖ OUTSTANDING PARTNER
M ➖ MARVELLOUS DAUGHTER
A ➖ ADORABLE SISTER
N ➖ NICEST GIFT TO MEN FROM GOD

Make every women feel proud of herself !!!💪

That Sum of Which is / That Son of Bitch is

A little boy was doing his Maths homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of bitch is nine . . ."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'

The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my Maths homework, Mum.'

"This is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked.

"Yes," the boy answered.

With full infuriation, the mother asked the teacher loudly the next day, 'What have
you been teaching my son all this while?"  

"How dare you do it?" added the agonised mother.

"Right now, we are learning addition," calmly the teacher replied.

"And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of bitch is four?" shouted the inflamed mother.

The teacher erupted into laughters.

After stopped laughing, the teacher said, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

"I'm very sorry for not finding out the truth first teacher," contritely apologised the mother. In a sheepish manner, she quickly walked away.

恭喜恭喜 (Gong Xi Gong Xi) / Good Wishes, Good Wishes

恭喜恭喜 (Gong Xi Gong Xi) / Good Wishes, Good Wishes

Chinese New Year Song (Chinese)

每条大街小巷，每个人的嘴里
见面第一句话，就是恭喜恭喜。

恭喜恭喜恭喜你呀, 恭喜恭喜恭喜你

冬天已到尽头，真是好的消息；
温暖的春风，吹醒了大地。

恭喜恭喜恭喜你呀, 恭喜恭喜恭喜你

皓皓冰雪溶解，眼看梅花吐蕊
漫漫长夜过去，听到一声鸡啼

恭喜恭喜恭喜你呀, 恭喜恭喜恭喜你

經過多少困難, 經歷多少磨練
多少心兒盼望, 春天的消息

恭喜恭喜恭喜你呀, 恭喜恭喜恭喜你

Chinese New Year Song (English)

On every street and pathway, On everyone's lips,
The first thing we say is, "Good wishes, good wishes."

Good wishes, good wishes to you, yeah!
Good wishes, good wishes to you!

Winter has come to an end, That is really good news,
A warm spring breeze is blowing to wake up the earth.

Good wishes, good wishes to you, yeah!
Good wishes, good wishes to you!

The icy snow has melted, See the plum tree blossom!
The long night is past, I heard the cock crow.

Good wishes, good wishes to you, yeah!
Good wishes, good wishes to you!

After so many difficulties, Such bad tempers
So many children in their hearts, Look forward to the news of Spring!

Good wishes, good wishes to you, yeah!
Good wishes, good wishes to you!

Chinese New Year Song (French)
Chanson de Nouvel An chinois (Chinois)

Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux
Dans chaque rue et chemin, Sur les lèvres de chacun,
La première chose que nous disions est,
"Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux."

Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux, ouais !
Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux !

L'hiver touche à sa fin, C'est une très bonne nouvelle,
Une chaude brise de printemps, Souffle pour réveiller la terre.

Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux, ouais !
Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux !

La neige glacée a fondu, Regardez le prunier fleurir !
La longue nuit est passée, J'entends chanter le coq.

Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux, ouais !
Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux !

Après tant de difficultés, Tant de mauvaise humeur,
Tant d'enfants, dans leurs cœurs,
Attendent avec impatience les nouvelles du printemps.

Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux, ouais !
Meilleurs vœux, meilleurs vœux !

做一个真正的自己

你再好， 不见得每个人都会喜欢你。
有人会羡慕你，也有人会讨厌你。
有人会嫉妒你，也有人会看不起你。

别人嘴里的你，不是真实的你。
别人眼中的你，也不是真实的你。
别人心中的你，更不是真实的你。
一样的嘴巴，有不一样的说法。
一样的眼睛，也有不一样的看法。
一样的心，更有不一样的想法。

一样的钱，有不一样的用法。
钱离开人，废纸一张；
人离开钱，废物一个。

一样的人，有不一样的活法!
做事不需人人都理解，只需尽心尽力。
做人不需人人都喜欢，只需坦坦荡荡。

男人再帅 ，扛不起责任 ，照样是废物。
女人再美 ，为了金钱而活的，照样是婊子。
好男人不像公交车，不会十分钟就来一辆。
好女人也不像公交车，投钱就能上。

坚持，注定有孤独彷徨，
质疑嘲笑，也都无妨。
就算遍体鳞伤，也要撑起坚强，
鹰，不需鼓掌，也在飞翔。
小草，没人心疼，也在成长。

人生的路，要活出自我，活出自信。
一世并不长，既然来了，就要活得漂亮！

笑话分享

一天， 白羊和一只狮子走进餐厅。

老板说您要啥？羊说：‘一份套餐。谢谢。’

老板又问：‘你的狮子不饿吗？’

羊说：‘ 不。THANKS’

老板不死心又问： 真的不要吗？’

羊说是的。

老板有些不甘心问：‘ 你再考虑一下, 它真的不要吗.'

羊不耐烦的吼道：'你认为它饿了我还能在这儿吗?'

问:
1。羊是不是在玩火?
2。在魔鬼及深海之中, 你选择那一个?
3。在现实中, 是不是有一些政党在玩火?

A Reunion Invitation

Nobel invited many Scientists and Mathematicians to attend the reunion

*Ampere requested to have current for his electric path
* Archimedes was buoyant at the thought

* Boyle said he was under too much pressure
* Charles would be in presence with Boyle and Renault to showcase the best trios

* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved
* Edison thought the idea was illuminating

* Einstein said it would be relatively easy to turn up than not
* Faraday promised to electromagnetise if there was a power failure

* Gauss suggested to use a heliotrope to reflect light if there was a power failure
* Hertz assured to attend with greater frequency in future

* Hunter asserted the inexistence of small pox
* Ivan Pavlov said classical conditioning can estimate the number of attendees

* Jenson confirmed that he would not bring along the nuclear shell
* Kirchhoff offered to circuit the connection of this reunion

* Leibniz said he would differentiate the variables to help to finalise the attendees
* Morse iterated, "Would be there on the dot, must dash, need space."

* Newton said he'd drop in with an apple for the host
* Ohm resisted the idea

* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated their enthusiasm
* Quinn felt that reunion can strengthen the strong interactions

* Robert Ross promised he could protect all the guests from malaria
* Schrodinger had quantized his presence overcoming various barriers

* Thompson said he can construct a Rumford Furnace if reunion is outdoor
* Urry in assuring his presence said he would provide free lithium battery

* Volta was electrified in receiving the invitation
* Watt thought it would be a good way to let off steam

* Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.
* Xavier Bichat who resisted death counter proposed immortal reunion

* Young guaranteed his presence in spite of suffering from astigmatism
* Zanetti agreed to bring the EGG to diagnose dementia of the attendees

A Touching Story To Be Shared

A touching story you may have heard of . . .

Once upon a time, an old rich but thrifty woman moved into a new house. She was very upset to see that there was a hut not far from her bungalow. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, living with extravagant life style, received high education and married to a handsome well educated gentleman. The only shortcoming in her life was that she was not bestowed any child. Nonethelsee, she and her husband lived happily together.

However, good things did not last long, and bad luck stroke her. Her husband died in an accident. She was very sad and decided to move to a new place. This chose this small peaceful serene town. She did not realise that she was partially surrounded by people living from hands to mouths.

Later she found out that the dwellers of the hut comprising an incomplete family: a widow with her two little children. She was certain that the family must be very poor.

One night, there was a sudden power failure. The night was very cold, she felt more lonely and colder than usual. The old lady decided to light up her house with some candles to look bright and provide her warmth. Neverthess, she still felt cold. Suddenly she heard someone knocking her door . . .

She was wondering who could be the one knocking her door. She blew off all the candles but one which was very dim at a corner. She opened the door and saw two little children standing outside the bungalow when she opened the door.

The two children, wearing old thin clothes, shivered in the cold dark night. She recognized that these two children were from the poor family not far away.

One of the children asked: “Hi auntie, we are from the near by house. Do you have any candle?”

"Oh, they were so poor that they could not afford to buy candles . . . I would better not give them, otherwise they will always relay on me next time," thought the thrifty lady.

 "Oh, no, I don’t have,’ she lied to the two children.

 As the thrifty lady was about to close the door, one of the children stopped her.

Sweet smiles spread out from the two little children's faces, the elder one said: "We know that you may not have candles since you have just moved in here. So my mother asked us to send you one because we have two."

The thrifty lady was astonished by the warm gesture of the children. She hugged them tightly and she had no power to control her tears from flowing down her cheeks. It was the warmest night in her life thus far . . .

Kidss are Smart and Imaginative!!!

Don't underestimate kids, they are very creative and imaginative.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, go to the map and find North America .
Bunyau: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Bunyau.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Mujab, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
MUJAB: You told me to do it without using the tables.
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jedun,, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Jedun : K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
Jedun : Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  
(I Love this child)
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, what is the chemical formula for water?
Bunyau : H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Bunyau : Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jegit , name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Jegit : Me !
_______________________________
TEACHER: Jugau , why do you always get so dirty?        
Jugau : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.  
_______________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
BUNYAU: I is...
TEACHER: No, Bunyau...... always say, 'I am.'
BUNYAU: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'      
_______________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Sundun, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
SUNDUN: Because George still had the axe in his hand......    
_______________________________
TEACHER: Now, Jegit , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
JEGIT: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
______________________________
TEACHER: Mujab, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
MUJAB : No sir, It's the same dog.    
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
____________________________
TEACHER: Bunyau, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Bunyau : A teacher
_______________________________

The teacher fainted.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nurture kids with patience, passion and heart.
Remember, the heart of education is educating the hearts! !!!

Who is smarter?

An American & an Indian entered a chocolate store.
As they were busy looking, the American man stole 3 chocolate bars.

After they left the store, the American said to the Indian: " Yo! Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, I bet you can beat that"

The Indian replied: "You wanna see something better, let's go back to the shop. I'll show you what real stealing is!"

They went to the store. The Indian said to the shopkeeper: "Do you wanna see magic?"
Shopkeeper replied: "Yes."

"Give me a chocolate bar," said the Indian.
The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.

He asked for the second, and he ate that as well.
He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic?"

"Check in my American friend's pockets, and you'll find them," replied the Indian.

How can a straight forward man beat a 'wise' man?

Take The Challenge ! ! !

Let's Take The Challenge - Construct Sentences Using Numerics

Ah Long and an Englishman were asked to construct a few sentences using the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11.

The Englishman tried very hard but could not make it. Finally the Englishman gave up and then turned to Ah Long and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am pretty sure that this would be way far beyond your ability."

Ah Long thought for a while and this was what he came up with finally . . .

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep a couple, but the couple saw me, so I got panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. I got into a 7-11 and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. I also took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-11. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

The Englishman fainted!

( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )

Some MPS are having MPs

The Current Scenario: Some MPs are having MPs

Interview Starts...

>> Mike & HR Officer <<
........................................

HR : What is your name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : In full please...

Mike : Michael Phang

HR : Your father's name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : What does that mean?

Mike : Melvin Phang

HR : Your native place?

Mike : MP sir

HR : What's that?

Mike : Malacca Province

HR : What is your qualification?

Mike : MP

HR : (angry) What is thaat?!!!

Mike : Mathematics Professor

HR : So why do you need a job?

Mike : It is because of MP sir

HR : Meaning?

Mike : Money Problems

HR : Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?

Mike : MP sir..

HR : And what is that??

Mike : Marvelous Personality

HR : I see... I will get back to you..

Mike : Sir, how was my MP sir?

HR : And what's that again?

Mike : My Performance..

HR : I think u have an MP..

Mike : Meaning??

HR : Mental Problem!!!

This is the scenario now, some of the MPs are having MPs.